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Hey everyone. I'm sorta in a downer mood tonight....I know i shouldnt be, but I am.

I think it all stems from earlier today. See Nate, Heather, and I are all in JC Superstar as members of the pit orchestra. After orchestra, Nate invited both of us over for a few beers before we go to bed. On the way back after we drop off Heather so she can move her van, he tells me that she doesnt have a boyfriend. this, as a side note is good for Nate since he likes her now that he is a single man again. When he mentions this to me I know where this was leading right away, so he and I decide that I'm supposed to call in about 15 min and ask if he wants to talk to Heather by himself. I didnt end up going over there. I can respect that, and I'm happy that Nate may have a gf right away. I know that it sucks to not have one. I've been trying my best here and I've got nothing to show for it. Oh well....I wish that i knew what I should be doing differently because i know i'm ready for another gf, but there seems to be a lack of interest i guess.....what's my prob people?

heart Otto

weird dream

Ok, so last night i went to sleep thinking that I would get a good night's sleep and go on my merry way in life. Boy was I wrong!

So I knew that the door to my room was locked, but somehow my friends Carmen and Nate showed up at the end of my bed holding something. They asked if I could fix it since they were having trouble. I said sure, why not. Upon further expection, I noticed that it was one of the light fixtures that you put a regular lightbulb and globe on in your house. At first i didnt know what was wrong with it, so I asked Nate and he pointed out what was wrong. I was like, "oh the switch on that thingy! I can fix that!" At which point, I decided that it would be cooler to smash it into the wall. the glass went everywhere! I never felt so shitty in my dreams (i didnt know it was one at the time though). So after I smashed the light, i told Carmen and Nate that I was sorry, and that I needed to get some more sleep before i could fix it. they said, "sure, that's ok. We'll just sit over here for a while." Before I lye back down, i decide that I've gone insane and that I need to turn the alarm clock OFF. this fact will come back a few times.

My dream continued a little later with me getting up and screaming, "NATE! NATE!" I was going to tell him that I figured out how to fix the problem with the light, but then realized that he was there and not there at the same time. I think at this point I was half dreaming and half asleep. I then realize that I was an idiot earlier and turned the alarm clock back ON. I then looked down onto my sheets and realized that all of the light bulb/globe shards were still on my sheet and I figured someone needs to put them back together. So I started to pick them up and i asked carmen to go and get the super glue on my desk for me. I hen started to put the pieces back together. I sorta came back to a semi-here state again and realized that I was trying to glue my comforter together. thankfully, I hadnt gotten a hold of the super glue just yet :). so I turn around, turn the alarm clock OFF and went back to sleep again.

A few hours later, I woke to what I thought was Nate talking to me again. This time however was different in the fact that he TOLD me that he was in my room and not at the same time. I was so confused that I decided that I needed to turn the alarm clock back ON before i continued to talk to Nate. After I finshed, well, Nate and I started talking and somehow, and I dont remember how, we got to talking about something that really got underneath both of ours skins so to speak. we both agreed on the issue, but it pissed us off so much that i decided that I needed to punch through the wall. I then abruptly went back to sleep, wondering why my hand didnt hurt like hell. when I woke up to my alarm the morning and turned it off, the blanket that i have hanging by my bed to keep the noise and light out had fallen onto the bed. That was the wall i punched through and grabbed apparently.

I really need to figure out what the hell i'm on. that was too strange. any suggestions as to what this dream might mean?

Heart Otto